At Felician University, the faculty designed assignments that enable students to gain an understanding of older adults. In Dr. Mara Zukowski’s Religious Studies class, students interview an older adult and reflect upon what they have learned.

The following assignment was done by one of her students:
I am Jack Sondei, one of the students in the course who completed this assignment and interviewed my grandfather in Poland. The assignment was to discuss the process of aging with an older adult and then reflect on what was said. I have interviewed my grandfather through a phone call to Poland. As he doesn’t speak much English, I did my best to fully translate everything.

Interview transcript

Jack: Being retired and living back home in your village, how is your life different from working almost every day to switching to a simple life on a farm?
Grandfather: When I first came to America with my wife, the goal was always to look for a better life and work. During the Cold War, Poland was a communist country and stayed like that for a while before I was able to win the lottery for a visa to the States. All our family ever knew was to work constantly and changing into an almost stale life is very different. On one hand it is very peaceful and relaxing, but I constantly find myself looking for any type of work to do.

Jack: Living on a small farm can still be difficult for someone older, how do you take care of daily responsibilities and activities being that you had a triple bypass surgery just not too long ago?
Grandfather: In my mind, I feel like I am your age. In my head, I feel like I’m 22 and ready to play sports or go to work like not a day has passed. But my body is what ages, and sometimes carrying heavy bags or sacks can really remind you that I’m going to be 82 soon. I keep healthy and I don’t drink as much as I used to so my health and body are as healthy as they can be for someone of my age.

Jack: Do you have any problems remembering? Or find yourself losing your train of thought when you’re talking to someone, or just throughout the day?
Grandfather: Obviously, I can forget some things like a grocery list or taking out the garbage. But I’ve come to terms with it. I won’t be as sharp like I once was, but you learn as the years go by that nothing will be the same so enjoy yourself while you can.

Jack: Aging for someone who’s retired can be probably scary at times, do you worry that someday you’ll have to leave us for God when he calls on you?
Grandfather: Any elder person who tells you that dying doesn’t scare them is lying to you. I try not to think about it but it crosses my mind sometimes when I feel a muscle spasm or a sharp pain. But my faith and going to church are really therapeutic and knowing that other people go through similar times in their lives. And that God loves me and wouldn’t give me a cross that I could not handle.

Jack: How was your life up until this moment? Do you have any regrets? And do you feel that sense of fulfillment?
Grandfather: Look, your dad had you and your brother and everyone is healthy in my family, as long as everyone is healthy then I am happy. My life went by quickly without even realizing, working every day in the same routine can make the days feel like minutes. I was your age yesterday; is the best way I can explain it. I’m living my dream right now with my other side of the family here in Poland and spending more time with them means a lot. I don’t have any regrets and every one of you in America has made me proud.

Reflection
My grandfather mentioned he worked half of his life here in the States as a way to earn money to support his kids. Asking him some of these questions was kind of uncomfortable because no one wants to talk about death. And there’s no right way to ask someone “hey, how do you feel that you’re going to die sooner than later?” So, I did the best I could to ask him about that specific topic. But my reaction to this activity is that it must be scary to see your body change and everyone around you grow up, yet your mind is feeling the same as when you were a teenager. I’m only 22 and I feel no different than as if I was 18, and I know that’s nothing compared to the difference in age with my grandpa, but it feels no different, I would imagine. It gets me thinking that instead of worrying about what kind of job I’ll have in 5 years or whether I can afford something new is irrelevant and I should make each day count, instead of watching the clock tick without even noticing what color the leaves outside are. I’m thankful that dementia does not run in my family because the videos explaining the disorder are really scary. Having dealt with patients with dementia and Alzheimer’s, it seems impossible for the families. I appreciate the personal side of this activity because it gave me a lot to think about with my life, and it gave me a chance to talk about a taboo topic with my grandpa.

This assignment was done by student, Jack Sondei, School of Arts and Sciences